Weight-y grief

Memorial Day has just passed. It’s the first unofficial day of summer. It’s a day for get-togethers and barbecues. Pools are being opened and grills fired up. While there are moments of silence and flags placed on gravestones, there are also parties and reunions. It is a day for “fun in the sun”. Warm weather has arrived to usher in summer break, pool parties and beach vacations. There is excitement in the air as the new season rushes in. Swimsuits are being pulled out with joyful glee for the poolside tanning.

That is, unless you are one of the many people like me. Swimsuits are a joy to pull out of storage. I cringe at the thought of putting one on and going out in public; or looking the mirror for that matter. This is part of why I am trying to lose weight and get into better shape. The swimsuit is motivation.

However, I am finding that as I try to change my diet and eating habits, I struggle. Being the chaplain that I am, I cannot let just let the struggle be a struggle. I have to dig deeper to find the why I am having a difficult time coping with changing my food.

My discovery? Grief. Yes, grief.

I am grieving the loss of those foods I have turned to for the past many years to satisfy my hunger and fill my belly. While I am not excluding many foods totally from my diet, I am trying to severely limit several in hopes of eventually phasing them out almost completely. Things like bread and fast food, potatoes and chips are being replaced with lettuce and greens, nuts and fruit. While I do not mind these new replacements, I miss my old carby friends.

This is grief. Often we think of grief as an emotion we feel at the death of a loved one. And yes this is the most common group of emotions we feel t this time, it is not the only time we grieve. We grieve any loss. It may not be as intense as a bigger loss such as a loved one, but it is a loss and is does cause depression. Often the smaller losses we face throughout our lives can add up to cause as much, if not more, grief than that of a death. Part of this is because we do not recognize it as what it is. We do not deal with the emotions which come with a small loss, such as losing comfort foods or not seeing a good friend as often as you once had. These things are not necessarily gone from our lives, just not as available as they once were.

There is also the change of lifestyle and image that adds to this grief. Suddenly the nightly routine of sitting on the couch and watching tv becomes laying on the floor and doing sit-ups, pushups and various other exercises. Your mindset changes from the way you have always acted and seen yourself to this more health focused person. Let’s be honest- its hard.

If you do not recognize your grief it will continue to build and can lead to depression. A depression that you don’t know where it came from or why you are feeling so down. What’s the best way to handle this? Find someone to talk to. Find a counselor or therapist who can be a support to you. Don’t just try to push through on your own. Don’t think that professional help is only for those who have several mental problems or that by seeking help you are weak or there is something major wrong with you. Finding someone you feel you can trust and talk to is a very positive thing and takes a lot of strength. It is always better to talk through whatever you are going through than to hold it in.

If you find these blog posts interesting or inspiring, please like and share.