Grace

What happens when we do not meet the goals we set for ourselves? What if we don’t get everything accomplished that we wanted to get done? Or the homemade unicorn cake at our child’s party does not look as fabulous as the professional make unicorn cake on Pinterest?

I have found that we, as humans, tend to compare ourselves, our projects, our homes and families, and our lives in general with others around us. We try to live up to the ideals of what we see in television or in magazines. We read and see bloggers and vloggers who lead this seemingly care free life doing what they want to do. We see these images and, at least a part of us, feels like we have to measure up. We might feel friends or classmates have accomplished more in the same amount of time it has taken us to struggle to get through life. This can pull us down, leading us on a path we never intended to go on, to feel like a failure or like we should be more than what we are. It might not even be that extreme. It might be that you set a goal for yourself and did not reach it.

All of these seemingly unaccomplished things are just arbitrary marks we have set for ourselves. That picture perfect house and family you see in the pictures or on film does not really exist. It is all fiction. That perfect party for your child like the one on your favorite show is not really obtainable. Not to mention your child does not need all of the fancy stuff, they just want to hang out with their friends and eat cake- they probably don’t even really care what it looks like.

We stress ourselves out striving to be these perfect people when we are not. We feel like failures when we do not hit the lofty goal we set for ourselves. This is pulling us down. Our mental state is suffering because we, as a society, tell ourselves we have to be successful and this is what that success should look like.

But what if we are wrong? What if our ideas of success are wrong? What if instead of beating ourselves up over not losing twenty pounds in two weeks, we look at what we did loss. We see that maybe that was not a realistic goal for me, but I did manage to loss ten pounds. What if instead of trying to keep the entire house picture perfect while raising a family, we say well at least some of the toys are off the floor and the laundry is washed.

This is grace. The whole concept of grace is that we don’t beat ourselves up over what we did or didn’t do and instead show ourselves mercy and leniency. It is not just letting everything go, but rather giving yourself permission to say it’s ok, not everything has to be perfect. It’s taking larger goals and braking them down into smaller steps that build a ladder to the final destination. This is what it means to forgive your mistakes. This is how you work at stopping that downward spiral of beating yourself up over not accomplishing your arbitrary goals.